After a while, you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh...

Where to start:

I'll start with Natalie:

She just graduated from SK into Gr 1 at the top of her class. Very proud of her and how smart she is. Too smart sometimes. She is doing wonderful.. Shes big.. too big. We have a great time together, shes funny, smart, full of love. But of course, she has her moments where she is a hand full and drives me nuts. I suppose that is what kids do! I wouldn't change anything though.


As for myself, I finished my Corrections diploma in April of 2009, since then I have moved on to University and at the end of this month (I did summer classes as well the past 3 summers), I will be graduating with my degree from University in Sociology. Its been a long haul and a lot of work but in 4 years Ive accomplished 5.5 years of schooling. Job searching is ridiculous, its brutal. Jay can't support both of us so it leads me no choice to keep looking. I have an interview back home this weekend if I do wish to move back home, of course Jay isn't too keen on the idea of me moving home. It would be a huge change since we have been living together for some time now. Either way, If I don't find a job I will go back to school part time two days a week and if I do just two more classes, I will have obtained another degree. Im not sure if its worth going back to school and getting my other degree so that I can move North and get the job that might work best for me or just move home, take a office job and be done with school. Right now, its a hard decision and a lot of it depends on Jay and I. Natalie would love for me to be home and for her to be home all the time.

Jay and I are doing okay. Its been a rough few months with the stress of school and me finding a job and him finding a new one. Its unfortunate how difficult it really is to find a job. At this point I have no clue what to do. Other then those stress factors and Jay making me more stressed about all of it he and I are doing good. I sometimes wonder if he is the "one". I don't believe that you just know someone is the "one". But I would like to know if I am wasting my time... Ha!

As for myself, I am doing okay. School is wearing me down, life in general right now is stressful. Money is super tight. Moving home would make the most sense for me. But, I am not sure if risking my relationship with Jay. Yes he could move with me but that doesn't necessarily mean there will be a job there for him. Hopefully something works out but if he can't hack the two hours... I don't know what to do. Only time will tell. I will email my mother maybe she will have something to say to help me decide. I would like to move home but living with my parents would drive me nuts. I am used to my own space now. I hate feeling like this. I truly do not know what to do. Jay is trying to be supportive but I know its hard for him to be supportive with the chance of me moving home.

I am not even sure the last time I updated this thing.. I should probably get into this, but the only people I know that use this, are those that I may still have on my list on here...

Ok.. So Where to start?

I havent updated since 2008! So Since 2008.. Ive graduated college and am not going to University.. Its busy but its going well so far. I am taking a sociology degree and will either go for my masters/phd as time comes or call it quits after my degree. We will see.

Natalie is in JK, She is LOVING IT and doing so well, the teacher was concerned at the beginning because she didnt know how to challenge Natalie in that setting that Natalie was very advanced for her young little 4 years..but I think they have found a happy medium and Natalie is doing awesome, she even has herself a "husband". She talks about him all the time and Ive been told he goes home and talks just as much about her.

Shes such a joy in life, 90% of the time shes happy, and 90% of the time shes a great easy going little girl, but the other 10%.. well as we all know, shes female.. That explains it all. Shes not really into any extra activities outside of school, but she loves life, skates, skiis, skidoos, fishes, crafts, typcial kid stuff, its never ending, and always on the go. Shes 4.5 years old now and weighs about... 54 lbs! AND TALL! I can barely pick her up anymore, but I still try.

For the last 1.5 years Ive been with a guy named Jay, and honestly, I cant wait to be his wife, I know a lot of people are going through issues with their marriages/relationships and marriage can make things more complicated, but I am willing to take that jump, Im not willing to be his girlfriend for too much longer! and he knows that. We are doing so well and Natalie and Jay have developed such a strong bond between them, It was hard for me at first to let someone in, but he is so worth it and she would be devestated without him. They are great together, hes good with her and I have no worries about the two of them together.
No plans for another baby any time soon though, few more years.. School and natalie and a job for me way before more babies! I enjoy Natalie enough that if another one comes along, thats great but if not, thats okay too. I know Jay said hes open to the idea of having kids, but enjoys Natalie so much that he wouldnt feel like he lost out without having one of his own. I am not sure I even have the desire anymore, watching NAtalie grow up is fun, and the age gap isnt even the issue, my sister and iwere 7 years apart and had issues, but I think I would work harder with Natalie and another one if that was to be the age gap... but Im not getting ahead of myself. We enjoy our time together and so far, Im okay with it, but I know that it definitely could change.

I am not really too sure what else to update on..
I bought myself a civic last year, its a fun little car, keeps me going, never thought id get to buy a brand new car and drive it off the lot, but that was the choice we made!
Umm.. I am not to sure what else there is to say.. Ill try ot check this place as much as I can..

I am officially done with LJ! I clearly dont know everything about everyones life, but when I tell a person what I think from what I know, I dont expect a person to go off on me about it. Clearly I can write about something in my life, take what you all say, and take it in but its clear that NONE of us will know everyones exact feelings, FUCK, even on a day to day bases when interacting with people face to face, NO ONE can completely understand a situation, because every situation is different.. I work with kids who dont have homes, who are in childrens aid. Thats what I do now. Its hard, each situation is different, they can tell me their feelings, but you know what, I cant relate, even if I had a similar situation because I probably didnt feel how they feel.

Anyway, I voiced my opinion, I didnt use any condencing tone, It doesnt matter. But Im officially done wtih LJ!

It was great keeping in touch with most of you for all this time, Take care of yourselves.

I will delete my acct in probably a couple hours.

I think cheating can be a mental and physical thing.. But I do not think two people going out for dinner is cheating. I do not think two people hanging out is cheating. I think that if you are involved with someone and have a good understanding and trust, then having friends of the oppisite sex and hanging out wiht them, shouldnt be a huge deal. I think that when it comes to mental cheating, you can have hours upon hours of in depth conversations, and you feel such a connection, you cant get enough, even though nothing physical is happening, that person still feels conneted on a different level with this person, then his/her significant other. Physical cheating, in my mind is when you develop the same connetion with someone as you do with your significant other, from this point on, after that connetion is built, hugging, kissing, anything, is cheating. But IF the two ppl have a clear understanding that its just a friendship, then thats okay. I know this sounds confusing.

Now, If its just a "Sex" relationship, then thats just straight out cheating and wrong. I dont have any problems with "casual sex", if the person is SINGLE, but if the person is dating, seeing or seriously involved with someone, sex with another person is just straight out cheating and I would find it hard to give that person a second chance if they wanted one.

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